Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Be who you already are.

Why do people who were very kind and loving once become cold-hearted?

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Are you more of a butt guy or a boob guy?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s still here.

Atheists claim that Earth is 10 billion years old, yet there are no fossils that old. What do you have to say for yourselves for lying?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of trying and failing.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

From an axiology/value theory point of view, how can one say that a diverse society is better than a uniform one, especially given the negative effects of diversity (racism, sectarian conflict, problems arising from extreme cultural relativism)?

I was tired of fighting.

The sadness was still there.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What's your take on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? How has it affected you?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Measles leaves children vulnerable to other diseases for years - Our World in Data

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

And the sadness?

If Russia needs the resources to fund the war in Ukraine, why doesn’t it throw open its doors to visa free western tourism? Enough people would be interested, & it would start to get some hard currency as €, CHF, £, SEK, $, JPY in the tills at shops.

You are like me, then.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

I had run out of hope.

What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Is it true that schizophrenia can sometimes be a demonic attack or black magic?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.